DUMB DUMB DUMB

Is it possible for my respect that was at 0 to go even possibly lower? Yes I think so. Amazing how such a person can accompolish that with me.

I swear, Politics IS just SO not my thing. No wonder why I did bad in AP Gov’t. And if this is politic, along with with the stupid Freedom Fries thing, “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” thing for the military gay servicemen, and many other crap, I’d rather just live in a neanderthal time period with no government whatsoever.

I am in a crappy mood now. I hate bullshites like this. Grrr.

Ah… these days the thing that’s been on my mind IRL is college. Yep. I am planning to take courses at UMUC at base. But I am really getting confused. I need to schedule an appointment there. I really want to start taking courses, but I am hesitant. I don’t know what courses that I take will be transferable. And at this point in time, I am NOT in the mood to take classes that will be not creditable to my major in whatever colleges I choose to transfer in the future. The colleges that I have in mind to transfer right now is UN: Las Vegas, and UC: Berkeley. More might go in the list in the near future, but not sure yet. But those two are definite on my list.

And bah. I have to take the placement test for English and Math. I am so afraid the damn placement test is going to put me in EDCP and I heard that, that class is a WASTE of time. All it is like learning basic grammar and etc. Perfect for someone who’s ESL and is still weak, but not so perfect for someone who isn’t ESL. I am going to see if I can get out of going into EDCP XD. Even if the darn placement test says so. *glares at the UMUC rules*

Anyways so far these are the classes I plan to take this term:

Introduction to Writing (ENGL 101)

This class is going to be from 11:45 to 1:00 pm on Mon, Tues, Wed, and Fri. I really want to take this class. Mr. Cook, is awesome, according to Jen. She had him and from what she told me about him, he’s just cool. I mean I honestly don’t know any teacher that will let you get away with calling him an “old fart”! *sniggers* And since he’s teaching this class, that is one of the reason why I do not want to take EDCP. I am afraid he’ll be bye bye in the next term… so I want to take this THIS term.

Introduction to Psychology (PSYCH 100)

This is a Tues/Thurs class from 6:30 to 9:30 pm. I always wanted to take Psychology in High School, but I never had the room for it, so now is my chance to take this class and see if I rather like the study of human nature or not! ^_^

Information Literacy and Research Methods (LIBS 150)

Gag. This IS not a class I would have chosen at all. This is a seminar, held on two Saturdays and it’s all day. x_x;; Jen told me to take this class now and get it out of the way. *ugh ugh ugh* She said it’s required in other colleges as well. I hope so. UGH! This just doesn’t look like my kind of class. And who in their right mind would TEACH on a weekend? Bah. I’ll ask my counselor to make sure that I need this before signing up.

So yeah. That’s the basic plan so far. Three courses this term. And that’s going to cost 1000 bucks. Oi… I hope dad’s helping me pay.

OH! And I might be able to get Jen’s Sales and Marketing job at DHL! I still have yet to hear from the school on whether or not I can work there though… Guh… I’ll stop by sometime next week and ask. God… I am so afraid to apply for jobs here. I am afraid that if I apply for one, the one I want will offer me it after I accepted this one and I don’t want to cancel the other job offer…

Job and Colleges, NOT a good COMBINATION! Very stressful. But I’ll start worrying next week…

Work is slightly better. At least I’ve been doing more stuff than, janitor-related stuff. In fact, today I was associated the most with the typewriter. Now I need to think of a name for that. And my mind is blank in the name aspect, so it will come later.

I, however, am not liking my supervisor telling me that I need to dress more professional looking. I dress nicer than I usually do and they still want me to wear a damn belt and tuck in my shirt. Well fuck that shite. One of them should provide ME a belt. I got none. So if they want me to wear one badly, then they better fucking get me one. I ain’t buying one at all. I understand the shirt-tucking thing, but never in my working experience, I heard that one needs a belt if their pants has a belt-loop thing.

As anyone else ever heard that? Because I most certainly haven’t, and Jen and other people haven’t either. But she said she’ll get me a belt. *roll eyes* I fucking hate their stupid “We have to look professional around here” shite. She and the other lady are both saying that they are telling my partner and I that this is for our own good. I KNOW that. I just don’t see the point in doing something if you know the concept. Espescially since summer fucking hire is only four weeks. If I got a job there, permanently, then I’ll buy the damn “professional clothes”, but this is not permanent. And I don’t need to hear this advices from you guys, I already heard it ten million time, so do me a favour and shut up.

*sighs* Too bad I can’t SAY that to them.

Uggh… two more weeks. I can survive two more weeks…

After being connectionless at home for like five days, I finally got it back.

I swear my connection has a cycle, let’s die on Tara-Chan every six months to make her miserable and realise that no matter how good the net is, it’s still sucky. >_< ;; So yeah I am anticipating the next crash down in January now.

But I got it back now and last night when I got it, I couldn’t access my blog, whereas everyone else could, and that scared the shiteless out of me. But now I obviously can. XD.

But yeah, I am back. With a 17 inch Dell Flat Screen Monitor! Whoo hoo! I love this screen. *huggles it* Now I can change resolution without doing all that adjusting crap! This is supposed to be at the highest rez setting 1280 x ???? whatever it was, but that was too small for me, so I am still at 1024 x 768. XD But yeah I love this.

And Summer Hire stinks.

All this week, my partner and I did mainly the following:

1) Shredded papers. It got so bad that I decided to name the two shredders, Sylvester (which I pronounce Slyvester) and Sally.

2) File crap, but the one day when I worked upstairs, I had a computer so that kept me happy for a bit.

3) Clean out the damn mini refrigerator in our supervisor office.

4) Dust our supervisor’s desk.

5) Little misc. stuff that doesn’t deal with computers much.

6) Vacuuming crap.

So all in all, when no one else got anything for us to do, we are stuck with janitor shite. It’s not even the second week and I already sick and tired of this job. Normally it takes me at least two weeks to come to that conclusion but not this time.

What pissed me off more was that our supervisor kept saying this to us when we were cleaning the fridge and their desk on Friday:

“Oh you girls are doing such a great job. I love you here! My office is so CLEAN!”

*gags* Well geez thanks. I feel like such a servant now. So much for taking nine computer courses to be reduced a fucking servant for the next three weeks. Will someone kill me, now? Please? Next Monday, I’m going to be cleaning the microwave now. And I have no clue how to do that without the right supplies. Fucking piss me off how because they don’t want to do it, they give it to us. If I’d signed up to be a servant, then I wouldn’t mind, but I wanted desk, clerical works, dammit.

Argh. Summer Hire is fucking a waste of time.

Geez people, do you really see me as a person with no common sense?! I mean I know slip ons aren’t the most sensible shoes to wear to an amusement park, but considering how most of the rides I expected to ride had barriers for my feet, I didn’t think I’d end up losing it. And not too mention I find them more comfortable than sneakers, and I knew I was going to walk a lot, I decided to wear those. Had I known I was going to ride a lift, and I had no clues I would, I wouldn’t have worn them. I didn’t even KNOW that place had a ride that you have to ride the damn lift to get to a ride.

Gah I am pissed.

And no, the fault isn’t of you guys who commented on my lack of common sense that day.

I had a very stressful day, thanks to the idiots that were in charge of summer hire. I signed up as usual for second session in May. They called my dad around the end of May informing that I was to work with 175th Finance and that they’d contact me before my session started. Did they? Hell no. So I had no clue if I even got the job for this session.

So I went to the in processing, only to find out that they moved from the movie theatre to the damn other building on the other post. Thankfully I got a ride there. After getting there and waiting an hour and a half, seeing that someone else got my supposedly job, I was told that my supervisor from the hospital couldn’t pick me till 1 o’clock and told me to come back. So I walked back home in this really painful shoes. I decided to screw looking “nice” today and just wore my sneakers back.

So after being there for two more hours, realising that they didn’t even put my name for the hospital, this one girl and I finally got a job at 34th Support Group, which was two fucking minutes away from the building I was situated in. Got introduced over there, and there are too many people to memorise. Good thing those GIs got the name thingie on their chest or I’d have a hard problem figuring out who’s who.

After getting some work to be done, I was lectured about knocking on closed door. I’m sorry about that. Really I am, but after seeing two of my supervisors going nuts in finding this person’s form, I figured I found it, I went there and since my mind was that form, I completely fucking forgot my etiquette. Sorry, but seeing how IMPORTANT that form was, that’s all I was thinking about. Man I don’t know what’s up, but one of the supervisor really acts like she think I am stupid. I’m sorry if I seem slow, but I had a cranky day, I was tired to death, and not too mention I have HEARING problems, and it takes me a while to understand new people’s speeches, so sorry if I seem dumb.

And then Mi Son lectured me about the damn reality today when I complained about what happened today. I love you, Mi Son, but honestly I was NOT in the mood to hear about the lecture. I don’t care how you have it worse considering the fact you work at a bar, but I’ve become so used to be people being nice toward me and them thinking that I was competent enough, that seeing people think I am dumb and getting lectured didn’t boost my self-esteem at all.

However, the only good thing about this job location is that 1) I get to come in at 9 and still get an eight hour day job pay, and 2) The lunch hour is from 11:30 to 1:00, giving me an hour and a half lunch period. Whoo hoo. Other places were only an hour.

*sighs* Today WAS not the best day ever. So much for thinking they’d let me get on easilly when I’ve been doing this for three years now, making this year my fourth session of summer hire.

I really hate it. The only reason WHY I’m even doing this is because Dad wants me too. He doesn’t want me to sit on the computer all summer long. I fucking wish he would. This is my last summer as person before going to college and workforce. After this I won’t be able to do that anymore, but nope. Dad wants me too.

So maybe I do sound self-centred. But really, after seeing other people get favoured when I do twice as much as work and help around, I’m sick of doing shite for nothing. I feel so damn incompetent, and so like I am worth nothing. I see the other band kids get laid off more than I do, I see my English teacher letting people that should fail, pass. I try to be nice, and do what people in charge of me expects, and I feel like I get nothing. The only people I don’t do that to is my parents, and I feel real bad for that. I’m sorry they have to see my bitchy, pessimistic side, but it’s become second nature to me. I am a fucked up kid. And I want some recognition, nonetheless. Something is seriously wrong with this picture.

I’ll shut up now. And I apologise to everyone for having to read this meanass entry.